What’s Dr. Allie Reading Now?
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
by Jonathan Haidt
Book Description:
I want to start by mentioning that I think this book should be required reading for all parents, no matter your child’s age, but especially for parents of teens. Parents with whom I have spoken, that have also read this book, have discussed how much it has changed their approach to parenting and their own use of technology. That being said, it is also excellent reading if you are not a parent and simply looking to understand how the world has changed with the rise of technology and the impact technology has had on our mental health and wellbeing as a whole.
This book gives voice to research evidence that the use of technology and social media during crucial developmental stages of life have lasting impacts on mental wellbeing and how we interact with one another. The rise of social media and selfies between 2010-2015 correspond with plummeting self-reports on mental health and wellbeing, namely increased loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Evidence shows that teens spend an average of more than 7 hours per day on screen-based leisure activities, which is outside of homework or school-related work.
Haidt makes the point that moving to a phone-based childhood versus a play-based childhood has taken a toll on our mental health and wellbeing overall. He explores the origin of this change, namely the connection of factors that have made a phone-based childhood more common these days, including the simultaneous rise of technology in every home and “safetyism” (increased preoccupation about the danger of the world and the good intention of wanting to protect our children, which may have led to overprotection). Combined, these factors created a perfect storm of keeping children at home and providing entertainment for them while at home. Haidt talks about the impact of these factors on human development, socially and emotionally, with an abundance of research studies to support his claims (many of which will shock you with clarity), and he provides clear actions you can take to make changes in your and your kids’ lives - changes which can improve your overall health and wellbeing!
In this book, Haidt identifies Four Foundational Harms, including Social Deprivation, Sleep Deprivation, Attention Fragmentation, and Addiction. Think about your own use of technology for just a moment. Can you identify how these Four Foundational Harms are present in your own life?
Social Deprivation:
Many folks struggle with social interactions and increased social anxiety. People are spending less time interacting with each other in person and more time interacting online. We have grown accustomed to hiding behind technology instead of interacting with others face-to-face and in real-time (or rather, we communicate less in synchronous versus asynchronous manners. For example, asynchronous communication includes texting, instant messaging, emailing, or leaving voice memos - any communication in which two people are not having the conversation at the same time, but rather communicating whenever they are able to respond to each other, sometimes hours apart.) Spending more time communicating asynchronously contributes to increased loneliness, less quality time spent with others, and increased splitting of your attention because even when you are having a conversation with one person, you are likely feeling preoccupied with another conversation on a different platform, holding multiple conversations via text message at once, or even texting while talking to someone in person. See more on “attention fragmentation”.
Sleep Deprivation:
Most people I know would acknowledge that their sleep routines have been impacted by their use of phones and technology, whether its binge-watching TV until the wee hours of the morning, playing videos games and getting lost in a time vortex, or endlessly scrolling on social media long past when you initially intended to fall asleep. Many folks express feeling drained, exhausted, and sleep deprived… because we are! And the ways in which we use technology contribute to that exhaustion! Haidt reports on research that clarifies how technology companies are playing (or preying) on human psychology to make us use more of it - see the section on addiction.
Attention Fragmentation:
Again, many folks I speak to in my professional and personal life express feeling like they have a short attention span, especially since the pandemic days, a time when many of us increased our use of technology even more than was already common. Have you noticed that your mind is constantly seeking stimulation from an outside source? Do you struggle to sit with your own thoughts? Through your use of technology, how often have you found yourself thinking about wanting to do something and forgetting about it because something else caught your attention before you could get up and do the thing you wanted to do? It appears that most of us cannot focus beyond a 60 second reel. Haidt provides information on how use of technology impacts the development of executive function in children, setting them up for difficulties with focusing on a task for a sustained period of time.
Addiction:
Tech companies employ techniques to “hook” us into becoming heavy users of their apps and other products. If you’ve been using instagram since it’s rise in 2011/2012, then you probably remember that there used to be a time in which the scrolling on your feed would stop because you would “catch up” on all the posts from your friends. But that simply doesn’t exist since the “endless scrolling” feature began, in which ads are fed to you, algorithms “suggest” posts to you, and you’re lucky if you see every post from all your friends. Now there is no reminder to close the app and move on to other tasks in your life, so you can easily fall down that endless scrolling rabbit hole. Furthermore, there is evidence that people, especially children and teens, experience withdrawal from their use of technology if they are deprived of use. Withdrawal from technology use can contribute to increased anxiety, irritability, insomnia, and a generally negative disposition.
Furthermore, Haidt discusses how technology has impacted girls and boys differently:
Effects on Girls:
Social Media harms girls more than boys because of how sensitive girls are to visual comparisons that lead to higher criticism of themselves and others. Girls typically express aggression by harming their relationships and the reputations of others, which is made easy to do on social media. Girls are susceptible to “sociogenic” illness meaning illnesses caused by social influence instead of biological causes. The internet makes it easy for girls to be stalked or pursued by others.
Effects on Boys:
On the other hand, boys have become more anxious and depressed because they have withdrawn from relationships in their real lives and poured themselves into virtual relationships, video games, and pornography. Boys have become a higher risk than girls for “failure to launch”, meaning they struggle to move into independent adulthoods. Boys have begun internalizing their emotions rather than the historically typical behavior of boys externalizing their emotions. Boys are taking less risks, and they have become lonelier.
Haidt provides plentiful evidence on the impact of technology on our wellbeing and actions we can take on personal and societal levels to make changes and begin living the meaningful and fulfilling lives we are all striving toward.
What Dr. Allie Loves About This Book:
The Anxious Generation provides evidence for so many theories I have wondered about since starting my career as a psychologist in 2017. Especially since the pandemic, therapists have seen a rise in anxiety and claims of ADHD, and the question calling to all of us has been: Why? Why are people more anxious than ever and claiming they have zero attention span?
Haidt provides evidence into how social media and technology companies actually use our psychology against all of us, by nagging at our attention and getting us to obsess over whatever it is technology is promoting today. We have become accustomed to watching 5-30 second clips and reels as a means of gathering information without question of it’s validity, instead of seeking out research-backed information and thinking critically about the information we are consuming. A society in which we no longer have to think for ourselves is a scary one because it makes us incredibly susceptible to manipulation. The sheer amount of research evidence that Haidt provides in his book and online at AnxiousGeneration.com is powerful and incredibly validating for anyone noticing the effects of technology on their wellbeing and struggling to verbalize it.
It appears that the more we rely on technology to interact with others, the worse off we all feel. Haven’t you ever noticed how you feel after scrolling endlessly? We literally have terms like “bed rot” to describe how bored and overstimulated we are; so much so that we actually choose to spend time doing nothing. In the past, boredom used to force us into creativity. Now, we are so consumed by what our friends did over the weekend, how many awards celebrities will rack up at the awards shows, which fashion styles are “in,” what political campaigns we should or shouldn’t be supporting, what TikTok dance moves and songs are rising to popularity, what current events are happening overseas, how many “views” or “likes” we got on a post, and how we might be perceived by others online...ALL AT ONCE. Our brains cannot hold space for all of this information at once and yet we let social media thow it all in our faces in 60 seconds or less, back to back. …It’s really no wonder why we feel burned out, exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected.
This is why I make such an effort in my personal life and professional life to connect with people in real time. Getting out into nature for hiking, skiing, or walking around town; spontaneously connecting with friends for coffee or dinner, trivia nights or concerts; being physically active at home, at the gym, or outdoors; and reading books are ways in which I try to live life off-screen. I encourage you to try it for yourself. It takes effort and commitment from yourself and like-minded souls, but can be so refreshing for reconnecting with your sense of meaning and purpose.
Action Steps You Can Take Today:
So what can we do about this? Technology is everywhere!
Haidt provides excellent support for how technology is disrupting our lives and actionable steps we can take to reclaim our lives, in reality.
Spend less time on your phone. Sounds simple right? Well, anyone who has tried, knows it’s not that easy. Start with something small you can try and then add to it over time. Try putting your phone in a different room to charge at night and getting an old-school alarm clock. Consider waiting an hour in the morning before using your phone and attending to any notifications. Put your phone facedown and on silent while working on a task; or better yet, put it in a different room. Schedule time for yourself to rest or engage in enjoyable activities without the distraction of your phone each day. Start small and build upon each step once it becomes a habit.
Delay the age at which you provide technology (phones, tablets, screen-time of any kind) to your kids or your nieces/nephews/godchildren. Provide other options for entertainment, like playing with stuffed animals, creating their own games, drawing/painting, doing puzzles or word games, playing outside in the yard or at a local park, playing board games, or reading books. When you’re ready to have your kids use technology more, have conversations with them about the media they are consuming and how it might impact them. The American Psychological Association (APA) has recently created a resource available for free online, called Healthy Video Viewing: A Guide for Parents of Teens.
Connect with like-minded individuals. Talk to your friends who want to use less technology and be “accountabil-a-buddies:” set goals to reduce your technology use and check in with each other on how you’re doing with your goals. Make plans with friends to engage in activities together without using technology. As a parent, talk to fellow parents who are also trying to teach their kids to use technology less and play more - make play-dates for your kids where they don’t have access to technology, hold strong together on not getting phones for your kids until they are older.
Advocate for change in your schools and at government levels. Go to a School Board meeting or speak directly with your principals about how having a phone-free school would impact your or your children’s lives. Write your local senator or governor about why you believe the age to use social media should be raised from an arbitrary age of 13 with no control over the validity of that age, to age 16, as Haidt suggests and with tools to monitor and verify one’s age online.
For more ideas, visit AnxiousGeneration.com or snag Haidt’s book from your local bookstore or at your local library!
Wishing you all more real-life connection and less technological distraction!
Disclaimer: Please note that the information offered via the Onward & Upward Blog, written and managed by Dr. Allison Meins, is not, nor is it intended to be, therapy or psychological advice. Established therapeutic relationship communications will be managed via telephone or confidential email.
